Faith been's low

My faith has been low again. I don't really know what to do. I haven't had much motivation for a week or so. But I feel now that I want to read the BoM. I'm still working on Nelson's challenge to finish it by the end of the year. I love reading it so quickly. It's so fun. I learn new things and patterns really stick out to me. This time, the patterns I see so much are what people say to negate truth or to make you feel stupid. The BoM was written for our day, I swear. It's like God knew all the things people would say. They really haven't changed much over time.

I was thinking this week about how medicine sometimes just seems more effective than Jesus's atonement. It seems that might be true, about physical and mental ailments. It sucks. Watching Meredith Beck this week, as a 14 year old, going through such intense anxiety and sleep deprivation, the prayers and priesthood blessings just like haven't worked. And so I was thinking, well what's the point then? I don't really know. I guess we will see what happens. But I did remember today during the Sacrament how sweet the spiritual healing that comes from the Savior and His Atoenment is, when I seek it and am worthy of it. Nothing can copare to it. But with mental struggles, it's tough, because you can't even really get spiritual ...feelings, blessings, etc., when you are mentally distraught. Moira, Meredith. I guess I just have to do some learning about this.

Also, I'm realizing how sensitive my Spirit is. It's taken me a couple weeks to really realize how true that is, how much things affect me. I'm not talking about violent movies and language. I'm talking about ideas. I love NPR. I love the podcasts and the books I've been reading. And I don't want to stop learning. But the opinions of those things are what are harmful to me. I want to learn facts and make decisions. But advertising to others seems to be somewhat contentious, unless it's inspired by the Spirit. Anyway. I've been taking a break from NPR, and I thnk I will continue to do so.

Quickly answered prayers

I just feel so incredibly blessed, because I asked for a lot of things yesterday and I got them all today. I just don’t know how or why it was so quickly. I don’t know I have Heavenly father wants to bless me so much and does blessed me so much. Yesterday I prayed to stop having unwanted dreams, specifically those about past relationships. Last night I didn’t have any. I also prayed for faith, hope and peace, based on the scripture that I read in Alma 58:11. I was just feeling some unwanted distance from heavenly father. I prayed  on Monday, more than most common playlist today more than normal. I was hoping to just feel closer to heavenly father and Jesus Christ of my mind. I wanted to have faith that the right name Grace could help my soul feel whole.

prayer and boasting

1. Prayer. My soul was so crunchy and crusty and tired today. I was dragging. And irritable. We went to Beth's and I felt weird and crunchy around her. In her basement, I remembered God. So I prayed and asked Him to help me soften and feel love. I felt so good when I was thinking about Jesus during that prayer. And about the scriptures. And I just longed to read them.

2. Boasting. Alma 39 starts with Alma condemning Corianton for a few sins, and the first one, significantly, was boasting. I think that is how all sins really start: with pride. It made me want to be more humble, and seek learning and want to learn and realize things I don't know and need to learn. And not see myself as super knowledgeable about ... mostly anything--because I can learn more for all of them!

3. More boasting. In Alma 41 it says that our desires will be restored to us: good for good, evil for evil. What do I desire? When I have prideful thoughts, or want glory for myself, that's what I'll get! And it won't last, because it has nothing to do with God. What do I truly want in situations and in life? Think about that sincerely, because that is what I'll get. And if it doesn't involve God and bringing glory to Him and drawing closer to Him, it should be moot to me as well.

4. How to be humble: Alma 42:30 "Let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility." Think about Jesus and how good He is, how much He loves me, How much has has done and can do and will do for me. His long-suffering toward me. That will help me be humble

easily forget

Helaman 13 is morbid a little, but it's a good chapter to take seriously and read as a reminder. To not forget the Lord. It says that it's easy for man to set their hearts on vain things, and to forget the Lord their God, and how He can do ANYTHING, and how He can help them...and curse them.

The other day I was thinking and feeling like I didn't have a ton to pray about for some reason. I thought that I wanted to pray and I wanted my prayers to be meaningful, but I felt they were a little empty. Then I remembered the scriptures, and how connected they are to pray. They give me what to pray about. They give me things to work on and things to ask for help with or thank or talk to Him about.

So then I read this chapter--feeling extra grateful for the scriptures. And I was reminded how easy it is for ME to forget Him throughout the day, and to focus on vain things or on myself. Or just to rely on myself, or the arm of flesh. Heavenly Father wants to be involved in my day.

What are some way I can remember Him?

• Talk about Him
• read my journal
• read my scriptures
• be grateful
• ask Him for help or guidance with lots of things
• work on goals
• apply what I learn
• be kind and loving to others
• think about how I can be an instrument in His hands
• recite scriptures and hymns

The Holy Ghost

When have I heard and listened to the Holy Ghost?

I can't really remember a time when He was warned me, and I was sure it was Him. But I have tried to listen to my gut...taken certain roads, checked the doors and windows, etc. But I have received sooo much from the Holy Ghost. Revelation. Comfort.

Larry Wilson's talk from april 2018. He says, in order to increase us hearing the HG, we must:

• tune our spiritual radio to heaven's signal
• do I need to be more obedient? Do I need to repent? Yes, probably. So, what do I need to repent of? What sins do I need to turn from? 
• ask what I can do to be part of the solution I need
• don't just list problems in prayer; instead, ask for ways I can help
• practice listening to the Spirit. practice, pray for opp.s to practice.
• pray about more things. I can pray about more things than I think. Don't be slothful. The more I talk to Him, the more I can hear Him, and practice listening to the Spirit. 
• 
  

teach the doctrine

I'm reading "Teach the Doctrine" in Teaching in the Savior's Way for tomorrow's lesson. It's good. It's made me think this:

i need to pray and ask for confirmation that what the Church sees as doctrine, or what is in the scriptures, is really God's doctrine, His laws. And ask for confirmation for that before I teach them. Then when I teach, be sure to focus on how each principle relates back to Jesus Christ, His Atonement, and His gospel. And look at what I teach (doctrine, principles, commandments) as relating to God's overall plan for salvation and happiness of all His people.

Alma 12:32 says that God gave his people commandments after teaching them about the plan of redemption.

Also teach that the doctrine comes from the scriptures, ancient and modern.

TEach the youth (and my children) (and everyone) to liken the scriptures unto themselves. Pick a verse where you can insert their name into.

How people fail

As I’m reading Helaman, I’ve just been thinking about what the main factor is for people to fall away. Earlier in the book it was internal contention in a city. Then it was trusting in their own arm or other’s instead of trusting in God. And now (chapter 6) it’s setting your heart on riches. 

All of these things have one thing in common: putting something before God. I think the biggest factor to someone spiritual failure is whatever is going to catch them up. Whatever Satan knows will be hardest for them. He tried them at lots of different levels.