Funny babies

The kids have been so funny and delightful lately. I feel like I really could just sit and watch them and hang out with them and they'd do enough stuff to keep me laughing the whole time. Eloise still likes telling secrets. But more than that lately she has just been telling stories. She's so animated and serious. Stories or commands. Today's was something like this: "Mommy, look at me. No look away. [her hands on my cheeks] no laugh. Big shark coming to bite us!" I asked her what we should do. "Bite him!" she said.

Conley is so sweet to her. I say that all the time. But he really is. If she is at a disadvantage somehow, he helps her out of it (unless it's something that he really wants or it's his and he wants to play with it). If she is mad about a certain plate, he'll switch her no problem. Or if she needs help with something, he helps her. He's learning to be patient and let her try. He's encouraging and respectful. They have the perfect personalities to be playmates. They get along well and have fun togehter and that just makes my heart so warm and happy.

I still adore snuggling with Eloise. Today she fell asleep in the car, and Conley got a little bag of popcorn from Walmart pickup. He said, "Eloise, you need to wake up or I'm gonna eat this whole bag." He like felt bad not sharing. It was so cute. I told him he could go ahead and eat the whole bag.

They've been a lot better for scripture time, too. And yesterday Conley volunteered to say our morning prayer. And he did! It was so great. And just made my heart so warm. And Joseph too.

Conley also says funny thing, or things he thinks are funny. Today he kept telling me secrets and then laughing really hard, along the lines of this: "Mom, boxes are illegal." Or Dogs are legal, or something like that. It really got his funny bone for some reason. He's got an "office" under the Christmas tree. He put papers down there and hole punches them (for snow, maybe?).

When I ask him how is day was, he usually says "bad." I'm not sure why. And he doesn't disclose too much. "Peter didn't want to do what I wanted to do" or something like that is usually what it is.

Conley helps Eloise say her prayers pretty often and it's so sweet.

Kid Quotes

Conley: "Why did Daddy take a different way home?"
Me: "I'm not sure. There is more than one right way to get home."
Conley: "There's a BILLION ways to get home."
Me: "You're probably right."
Conley [quietly]: "I'm not probably right, I am right."


Another day...
Conley says he "works" downstairs or outside. He talks about all the work jobs or jobs he has to do. Or if someone says the new deck is looking good, he says it's because of the hard work he's been doing. He's working, not playing. And he wears his jeans every day because "of all the work [he] has to do." He takes it pretty seriously.

And Eloise, as soon as we mention going to Nana's, thinks we are going. One time she packed a backpack full of toys and got her cowboy boots on, ready to go. And tonight (we talked to Nana today about going to sleep at her house in a couple weeks), Eloise thought she was going to sleep at Nana's tonight.

Tonight I told Conley, "I love you with all my heart." And he said "I love you with the whole universe." And I said, "I feel in love with you the moment you came out of me." And he said, "Where did I come out?" And I said, "My vagina." And he paused, and said incredulously, "Did I really?" Hahaha it was so funny.

Eloise and Conley both say "cozy." They love being cozy. With pillows, blankets, and me:).

Sweet time putting Conley down

Joseph usually puts Conley down, but tonight he had YM. I was so lucky, because it ended up being such a wonderful, sweet experience. We got an early start; got in the bath at 6 or so (because Eloise is transitioning of naps, so she's exhausted by six). So that gave me and Conley a long time to spend on his going down (E was asleep by 6:15). We read The Wind in the Willows, and he didn't want me to stop. When I asked if we could read two more pages so we could finish a chapter, he said, "Yeah. And then read the next chapter and the next chapter. I wanna know what happens." It was so cute. It's a fun little book. Kind of high vocabulary, but he seems to catch the story line, for the most part. After reading for 20 minutes or so, he got out of my bed and whispered, "Follow me." It was cute and funny. So I did. We wandered around the dark family room and kitchen for a minute, and then he said he had to pee, so he did. I made him get back in bed with me and I turned off the lamp and we just snuggled. I started singing to him and he just snuggled right in and fell asleep gradually.

I was laying on my side and he was facing me, wrapped up in my arms. It was so snug and warm. Our chests were snugly together and I could just feel his soul. It filled up my heart. I could feel my heartbeat; it felt like his closeness was making my heart beat stronger, making my heartbeat more fervent and vibrant.

humility and unity

In RS i was reminded that i can pray to ask what i need to repent of. and Pres Nelson said i should pray and ask what is stopping me from repenting too. I always think of pride; that's what prevents me, or just not knowing that I'm doing wrong. but it could also be something else. What is preventing me from repenting?

Also, being unified with others is really important. Satan wants to tear us apart as couples, families, wards, communities, etc. And contention is one way that He can come in and do that.

what i learned while i fasted today

I normally really don't like fasting; lats week was fast sunday and I chose not to fast because we were driving to WY that night. I felt bad about it all day. But yesterday i remembered that, so I decided to fast today (Sunday). I'm so glad I did. I felt the Spirit really easily and really strong. It was easy for me to love other people and want to show that love. It was easy for me to hear the Spirit. I learned a few things, more than normal. It was easy for me to look past things that normally annoy me...especially the way people talk and stuff like that...and just focus on their message. It was great. I fasted for knowledge on how to schedule our time when I get home, now that Joseph is starting school, and I want to have more structure for preschool, and just schedule in general. I think it's good for me and for the kids, and a good habit to get into before the dreaded winter sets in. So...I'll started writing about my ideas in a second. But here's what I learned/when I felt the Spirit today while fasting.

1. Mom shared about her trip with Jordan and Haylie and moving them to Boise. She said how she listened to the Spirit and went with them, even though she was exhausted and didn't want to. She ended up really helping them out each day; it would have been a lot more complicated without her...sick kids, no food or unpacked boxes, big decisions they needed to go to the temple for, etc. The sweetest part to me was the part of her experience where Jordan asked her why she did stuff for her parents. She said that it wasn't necessarily for them, but for Heavenly Father. She said that she need Jesus's grace for everything in her life, and this was one way she felt like she could really do something....it was like she had energy for that, for being nice to them, so she did it because she could and she knew it was what Heavenly Father wanted her to do. Another thing I appreciated about the whole thing is that she is still patient with Jordan and me and others who have a harder time with Grandma and Grandpa, and understanding why Luana and my mom help them. It was like Mom used Jesus's atonement not only to help her forgive and love them, and to have energy to help them, but ALSO in not holding it against us for not doing the same or feeling the same. I think that's really sweet of her, and a good example of really using Jesus.
2. I was reminded a few times today just how much we can use Jesus and His Atonement. How much He wants to help us and how much He can. I think I'm fearful that He won't or something...because people still have problems, or because I still have anxiety and I'm not always sure if it could have been taken away by Jesus, etc. But a lady talked about how Heavenly Father and Jesus helped her be patient as a mother, and be Christlike through a difficult situation with her four year old, even though he wouldn't go to bed, etc. She saw the blessing not as him stopping, but as her having patience and love for him. I was touched by her talk, and how she said she prayed when she was feeling angry and frustrated; and Heavenly Father answered. She imagined what Jesus would do if He were her children's parent and how He would act. I thought that was such a good thought that I haven't every thought of and want to.
3. Another way that Jesus can help me an dhow His Atonement can play a daily role in my life is that I can give people the benefit of the doubt, and assume they can change and will change, etc., through Jesus Christ. This can help me not hold grudges, or be kind to people even if they weren't kid to me or did something I don't like What if they have repented? I can just assume that Jesus and His Atonement is working through them, and He's the final judge anyway. so i can treat them the way I want them to be...like as though they have applied the Atonement in ways I can't see.

best way to live the gospel

Ballard: The best ways for us to see the spiritual purposes of the Church are to live the true, pure, and simple teachings of Christ and also to apply the Savior’s two great commandments: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart. … Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”10

Living the true, pure, and simple gospel plan will allow us more time to visit the widows, widowers, orphans, lonely, sick, and poor. We will find peace, joy, and happiness in our life when serving the Lord and our neighbors.
I'm amazing by this. How does this happen? Living the gospel more simply gives us more TIME. 

Easter

I've felt thankful for Christ more than normal this week, and I'm grateful for that feeling. I've felt sad at the thought of Him being persecuted and dying. I've been listenint to matt 21-28, and it's amazing how many things are applicable to our day. That false Christs would come (there are so many things that take my focus away from Jesus and what's important); that I need to spend the necessary time to put him first and to serve Him and learn of Him and repent, because I wont' know him otherwise, and i will be left out of the wedding feast because I don' thave any oil; so many people persecuted Him, and they will do the same to me--i might stand alone sometimes, I might be mocked sometimes and laughed at--people might not beliee what I have to say. I'm so grateful for Jesus, that I can repent, that I can loveHim and feel His loe for me and for others.

make crooked paths straight

Luke 3 at the beginning quotes an Isaiah scripture about Jesus making our crooked paths straight, and also of flattening out a mountain. CFM points out that if Christ can do these things, He can help us sort out our crooked paths. So I was pondering and praying about what some of my crooked paths might be, and I thought of how I forget to involve him in all my actions and also forget to consecrate my actions unto Him. I want to involve him and consecrate all I do to him, and do things for Him: serve my children and family for Him, serve other for Him. Like the talk "For Him" says to do. I want to review that today and see what practical methods she suggests.

Joy D. Jones says in that talk:

We need to serve out of love for the Lord, not for any other reason.
Our focus should be on the Lord; our prayers should be directed that way.
Don't seek or need appreciation or recognition.
Focus on all Heavenly Father has done for us.
Like Ballard's quote below, think about how I can love Christ and God more with my whole soul.
He needs to be the top priority, by choice. See her quote below.
Just remember that it's between me and the Lord; am I making it that way?

"When He takes the preeminent position in our lives by our deliberate choice, then He is able to bless our actions to our good and to the good of others."

President M. Russell Ballard taught, “It is only when we love God and Christ with all of our hearts, souls, and minds that we are able to share this love with our neighbors through acts of kindness and service.”10