Motherhood

Motherhood is getting tiring and purposeless for me. But I don't want it to be that way. I want to love it like I did that first year.

I'm trying to take the issue to the Lord because no one else totally get a me and what's more, no one else can actually fix it for reals. I figure if I have a testimony of motherhood and it's divinity and if I truly know that is what Heavenly Father wants me to be doing right now...neither of which I have yet...then it will be easier for me. I will have more purpose and faith and willingness to do it because I will know he wants me to and he is proud of me. My approval and Joseph' and Conley's and outsiders' just isn't proving to be enough.

So I studied a chapter in Benson's prophet book. He talks about how the calling of motherhood is sacred and noble. "No more sacred word exists in secular or holy writ than that of mother. There is no more noble work than that of a good and God-fearing mother."

And

"We honor you as you bear, nourish, train, teach, and love for eternity. I promise you the blessings of heaven and “all that [the] Father hath” (see D&C 84:38) as you magnify the noblest calling of all—a mother in Zion."

He also gives some tips on how to magnify our callings as mothers, which I just prayed for. One of them is to be at the crossroads of their comings and goings. He says to be their true friend. He says to pray in Faith with them and read to them. He says to teach them gospel principles. He says to prayerfully work at the things that are difficult...like showing love to older children as opposed to younger. But that applies to anything. The prayerful working.