- "God makes no horizontal comparisons....He compares me only with me" and I should do the same. Comparing me with my past self, but not with others. This mindset can help me only compare myself to myself and not to others--when others perform or achieve higher than I do, I can still glorify God by the things that I accomplished or learned or how I grew from an experience, and be grateful for that.
- "God cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other." (Holland)
- How to overcome comparison:
- Be mindful of our tendency to compare. Think about it and sit with it and notice what it might lead to and what it is coming from. Comparisons most often are based on falsehoods and "faulty premises, both of other's making and of our own making." I'm only seeing part of the picture. No one is better than another person.
- Korihor said that people prosper because of their own genius and strength--but this certainly isn't true, because 1) circumstance/privilege (side note: "this does not mean that we simply acquiesce to biological determinism or circumstantial determinism, nor wallow in defeatism. Agency is a reality and an incomparable endowment. But can we see why comparisons just are not fair--to us or to others? There are too many variables involved.") and 2) our blessings from God, especially the Savior's saving Atonement. "It is by graced that ye are saved" even "after all we can do."
- Also, Ether 12:27 says God gives us weakness, not weaknesses. Weakness and mortality make us humble.
- Recognize, with childlike celebration, the good fortune of others. Think of Eloise being excited for something that Conley does, instead of being discouraged in herself.
- "We don't discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves." (Uchtdorf) "Doesn't this description just fit the image of the Son of God" washing feet, sitting with the poor and sinful, etc.
- When we think of others more than ourselves, and pray for charity for them, the Lord will bestow this gift on us. "Charity renders powerless this temptation to compare." Love that quote. The Savior, the best of all, strives to make us equal with Him.
- It's OK when we fail with this. It's important that we keep attempting.
- "We might think that God wanted simply obedience to a set of rules: whereas He really wants people of a particular sort." C.S. Lewis
- In tiny, daily ways we purify our motives, pray for love and grace, think of others, remember how God views me, only compare myself with myself, glory gratefully in the progress I've made, and slowly become more secure and more like Christ.
Sunday, February 16, 2020
comparing and not comparing
BYU's fall 2019 magazine has a great article on comparison. Just look it up. But here are my notes:
Sunday, February 2, 2020
My testimony, beginning of 2020
Hello. I wanted to bear my testimony in Sacrament Meeting today, but there didn't end up being enough time. Other people had a lot they needed to share. But I felt the burning in my heart, and I remember kind of setting a goal on my mission to bear my testimony every fast Sunday. So I can do it here. And maybe I will share it with some people.
I don't really know how to start, so I guess I will start the traditional way, with the I knows. But really some of the I knows are more like I hopes. So maybe I'll say which is which.
I know that there's someone really really really great and loving and merciful out there, and I really hope it's Heavenly Father. I feel sure most of the time, but since sometimes the Doubt Thing in my mind (which is small and sometimes sleeping or gone altogether but sometimes still there and is very real) still tells me I made it all up, I can't say necessarily that I know that God is there. That makes me a little sad. I really want to know He is there. I mean, I pray to Him every day, and He's wonderful and most of the time I really think He is there and He is listening and the amazing miracles that happen are actually from Him and not just happenstance. So that one is an almost-know, and a really-really-hope. When I am feeling like He is really there and listening, I love Him so much and feel so undeserving of what He's blessed me with, specifically my children and knowledge of Jesus Christ. And He always answers my prayers. Like I was having really bad dreams this week, and I prayed that I wouldn't last night and I didn't. I also prayed that I wouldn't wake up until the morning, and I didn't. It was awesome.
I know that Jesus Christ died for me. I know that because I've felt the incredible effects of His grace and His atonement. I feel lifted when I think of Jesus Christ. I feel love for people I don't like, when I seek for it, and I'm sure--100%--that that love comes from Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father and Jesus's atonement and grace. I can improve and change--and that is because of me working hard, yes, but mostly because Jesus loves me and He can do anything, and all I need to do is put in some faith and work.
I know the Book of Mormon has some really great stuff in it. I know that the people who wrote it really wrote it. I don't think everything in it is translated exactly how God wants it, but it's close. And I know Joseph Smith translated it by the power of God, restored the church by the power of God, and restored the priesthood by the power of God. I know the priesthood is real. Gosh I love it. I have felt so much powerful love when I've received priesthood blessings. I know that priesthood holders who are my leaders and are worthy and humble, men and women, have power from God to help, love, and lead me. I know this.
I also want to bear my testimony of doubt. Doubt is so real and doubt is also so important. We came to the earth to walk by faith. To walk by faith. Without doubt, we wouldn't have faith. We couldn't have faith if we didn't have doubt to overcome...like it's impossible. It's impossible to grow a muscle without breaking it down and making it sore first. Doubt is important. I'm not afraid of doubt anymore. I'm not afraid of when my friends leave their faith. I don't like either--that's for certain. I still cry about both; I'm still torn up and shaken by both. I'd love a life without either. But that's impossible. Both are bound to happen over and over again for me--doubt and friends leaving. Maybe those two things happen for everyone. But the fear of both is gone because I've felt God come through each time for me. I've felt Christ come through each time for me too. I've felt an answer to a prayer; or I've felt the spirit strongly, or I've felt some kind of witness that tells me that I'm on the right track, and in the right place. Sometimes I do wonder, why does having faith need to be so difficult? Like, if it's so hard and I have to work so hard to keep it and hold onto it, aren't I just constructing it? convincing myself of all these things? That would be true, that it's made up, that would be the way it is, if not for the witnesses, the sweet witnesses that are small and sometimes infrequent, but powerful and undeniable nonetheless.
The parts of my religion that discomfit me are the things that I feel like are laced with human-ness. These include parts of the endowment session (before the recent changes, but still a little bit now--just like the ancient tradition stuff--I mean, the ancient tradition stuff is cool if it's actually ancient tradition, but less cool if it's made up by Joseph Smith or Brigham Young or Wilford Woodruff or whoever whenever, and I'm not totally sure yet which is which); certain perspectives common among church members (as an unimportant example, when people feel that crying is equated to feeling the spirit, or that crying will make a testimony more effective to a listener); Joseph Smith's choices with polygamy; Brigham Young's actions regarding women, people of color, and the priesthood; some things church leaders say here and there; I don't believe that polygamy or black people not having the priesthood or temple blessings were inspired by God, for example. Thankfully, I can now put these things aside, at least for a time, and focus on the things that fill my heart and soul up with joy, being mindful of the pain these other things have caused/cause some people, and validating them for it.
I used to think that remembering was so important, like the most important part of keeping a testimony. But I thought that what you were supposed to remember was the times when you felt the Spirit and received witnesses of God or other stuff. I realize now that it's not just that. It's remembering what to do when doubt overcomes me. It's remembering how to act, react, respond. And I know what to do. I just have to do it. I have to read, I have to pray, I have to hope and reach out. I have to remember the witnesses, I have to lean on people whose faith is bright.
This is so much more than a religion or a way of life. The gospel is sweet and the joy it brings is unlike any other. God's work is to make me happy and others happy. Jesus wants me to love myself and be better through Him.
I don't really know how to start, so I guess I will start the traditional way, with the I knows. But really some of the I knows are more like I hopes. So maybe I'll say which is which.
I know that there's someone really really really great and loving and merciful out there, and I really hope it's Heavenly Father. I feel sure most of the time, but since sometimes the Doubt Thing in my mind (which is small and sometimes sleeping or gone altogether but sometimes still there and is very real) still tells me I made it all up, I can't say necessarily that I know that God is there. That makes me a little sad. I really want to know He is there. I mean, I pray to Him every day, and He's wonderful and most of the time I really think He is there and He is listening and the amazing miracles that happen are actually from Him and not just happenstance. So that one is an almost-know, and a really-really-hope. When I am feeling like He is really there and listening, I love Him so much and feel so undeserving of what He's blessed me with, specifically my children and knowledge of Jesus Christ. And He always answers my prayers. Like I was having really bad dreams this week, and I prayed that I wouldn't last night and I didn't. I also prayed that I wouldn't wake up until the morning, and I didn't. It was awesome.
I know that Jesus Christ died for me. I know that because I've felt the incredible effects of His grace and His atonement. I feel lifted when I think of Jesus Christ. I feel love for people I don't like, when I seek for it, and I'm sure--100%--that that love comes from Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father and Jesus's atonement and grace. I can improve and change--and that is because of me working hard, yes, but mostly because Jesus loves me and He can do anything, and all I need to do is put in some faith and work.
I know the Book of Mormon has some really great stuff in it. I know that the people who wrote it really wrote it. I don't think everything in it is translated exactly how God wants it, but it's close. And I know Joseph Smith translated it by the power of God, restored the church by the power of God, and restored the priesthood by the power of God. I know the priesthood is real. Gosh I love it. I have felt so much powerful love when I've received priesthood blessings. I know that priesthood holders who are my leaders and are worthy and humble, men and women, have power from God to help, love, and lead me. I know this.
I also want to bear my testimony of doubt. Doubt is so real and doubt is also so important. We came to the earth to walk by faith. To walk by faith. Without doubt, we wouldn't have faith. We couldn't have faith if we didn't have doubt to overcome...like it's impossible. It's impossible to grow a muscle without breaking it down and making it sore first. Doubt is important. I'm not afraid of doubt anymore. I'm not afraid of when my friends leave their faith. I don't like either--that's for certain. I still cry about both; I'm still torn up and shaken by both. I'd love a life without either. But that's impossible. Both are bound to happen over and over again for me--doubt and friends leaving. Maybe those two things happen for everyone. But the fear of both is gone because I've felt God come through each time for me. I've felt Christ come through each time for me too. I've felt an answer to a prayer; or I've felt the spirit strongly, or I've felt some kind of witness that tells me that I'm on the right track, and in the right place. Sometimes I do wonder, why does having faith need to be so difficult? Like, if it's so hard and I have to work so hard to keep it and hold onto it, aren't I just constructing it? convincing myself of all these things? That would be true, that it's made up, that would be the way it is, if not for the witnesses, the sweet witnesses that are small and sometimes infrequent, but powerful and undeniable nonetheless.
The parts of my religion that discomfit me are the things that I feel like are laced with human-ness. These include parts of the endowment session (before the recent changes, but still a little bit now--just like the ancient tradition stuff--I mean, the ancient tradition stuff is cool if it's actually ancient tradition, but less cool if it's made up by Joseph Smith or Brigham Young or Wilford Woodruff or whoever whenever, and I'm not totally sure yet which is which); certain perspectives common among church members (as an unimportant example, when people feel that crying is equated to feeling the spirit, or that crying will make a testimony more effective to a listener); Joseph Smith's choices with polygamy; Brigham Young's actions regarding women, people of color, and the priesthood; some things church leaders say here and there; I don't believe that polygamy or black people not having the priesthood or temple blessings were inspired by God, for example. Thankfully, I can now put these things aside, at least for a time, and focus on the things that fill my heart and soul up with joy, being mindful of the pain these other things have caused/cause some people, and validating them for it.
I used to think that remembering was so important, like the most important part of keeping a testimony. But I thought that what you were supposed to remember was the times when you felt the Spirit and received witnesses of God or other stuff. I realize now that it's not just that. It's remembering what to do when doubt overcomes me. It's remembering how to act, react, respond. And I know what to do. I just have to do it. I have to read, I have to pray, I have to hope and reach out. I have to remember the witnesses, I have to lean on people whose faith is bright.
This is so much more than a religion or a way of life. The gospel is sweet and the joy it brings is unlike any other. God's work is to make me happy and others happy. Jesus wants me to love myself and be better through Him.
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